Airline Reporter » humor

Humerous Video on an Unlikely Flight Attendant Demonstration

David Parker Brown — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:55:58 +0000

See all the CollegeHumor Original Videos here.

In the unlikely event you have a very crazy flight, these flight attendants are making sure you will be prepared.

Man Sues City of Houston, Continental Airlines and Food Court Over Lost Coat

David Parker Brown — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:45:58 +0000

Houston Airport's Food Court

Sometimes bad things happens and there is no one to blame. Some how William Ogletree, a lawyer from Texas, didn’t get that memo. Ogletree was flying from Houston to Las Vegas back last December and went to the food court in Terminal C for some food. When leaving, he accidentally left his $800 black leather jacket, which unsurprisingly, someone ended up stealing.

Yea, that sucks, but it is a fact of life. I have lost a few coats in similar fashions (not $800 ones thanks goodness), but I didn’t blame anyone but myself. Ogletree on the other hand is threatening to sue the City of Houston, Continental Airlines and the food court’s management for failing to have “collected the coat, kept it in a secure place and held it for a reasonable time” until he was able to claim the jacket. The bitter passenger claims the defendants, “breached their duty” in connection with how they “manage lost and found items for which they are responsible.”

The letter written to the defendants, obtained by The Smoking Gun, shows Oggletree gave them ten whole days to pay him the $800 or they would also be burdened with, “court costs, attorney’s fees, investigation, expert witnesses and other damages.”

I am sorry you lost your coat Mr. Ogletree, but seriously get over it. It is not the city, the food court or Continental Airlines’s fault (I don’t even get how could come close to blame Continental — for not asking every passenger if they remembered their coats?). There are only two people to blame. Oggletree and whomever stole the jacket.

No official word if Ogletree ever got his money or his jacket.

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Source: JetBlue’s B6 Blog Image: jgdillard

VIDEO: Blast from the Past – Southwest Airlines ‘Just Plane Fun’ Shuffle

David Parker Brown — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 15:45:34 +0000

Retro is so awesome. Southwest Airlines is well known for their sparkling personality, and it was no difference in the past! This video was created in 1986 as a reaction to the Chicago Bears’ Superbowl Shuffle. It was once featured on the CBS program 60mins and it was also used as an orientation tool for new hires. I really think they should do a re-make with their rapping flight attendant.

Come Fly the Very Friendly Skies with Erotic Airways

David Parker Brown — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 22:04:37 +0000

Erotic Airway's Beech H-18S

Joining the mile-high club has never been easier. Formed in 2006, Erotic Airways is the brain-child of pilot Craig Justo and is based in Brisbane, Australia. They fly a twin-engine Beech H-18S and offer 45 and 60 minute flights. For about $725.00 USD you get a nice hour-long flight, first class bedding with “sensuous satin”, a little bubbly, and a complimentary “safe sex” package.

Once you land, you will get an official Mile High Sexperience Certificate, to frame and mount on your wall (you know, for when the family comes to visit).

The website is interesting, although not quite safe for work. Check it out or check out an interview on YouTube (safe for work) showing the plane and bed.

Although this airline experience might not be for everyone, it might be a unique experience for some. I couldn’t imagine the operation growing too much more than what it is now and not sure how something like this in the US would be received.

Another Naked Guy – On a Southwest Flight to Las Vegas

David Parker Brown — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:06:23 +0000

Southwest Airlines flight leaving from Las Vegas, NV

A passenger getting naked on a plane is almost becoming old news. However, I am not tired of blogging about them, so I shall continue. This week’s nudity is brought to you by a Las Vegas bound guy and was found on the Airline Biz Blog.

Southwest Airlines flight 943 left from Oakland and was heading towards Las Vegas when a male passenger exposed himself to a female passenger. That wasn’t enough for him so he decided to hit another female passenger. This was enough for the people aboard and he was restrained.

The crazy man decided this would be a good time to get completely naked and rowdy. Passengers and crew became more aggressive in their restraining and the pilot decided to return the plane back to Oakland.

Image: gTarded

A Loose Crocodile on an Egyptair Flight Frightens Passengers

David Parker Brown — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 20:43:00 +0000

Not something you want to see while in mid-flight

About a week and a half ago I was telling you about how a scorpion got loose on a Southwest Airline’s flight. Well, Egyptair has gone one step further. Last Friday, there was a foot-long baby crocodile walking around in the aisle on a flight from Abu Dhabi to Cairo.

The crew managed to re-capture the reptile and it is currently living at the Giza Zoo in Cairo. After the flight, all the passengers were questioned and no one was willing to take credit for the croc.

Most likely someone was trying to illegally smuggle the animal and it managed to get loose while airborne. It is going to be hard to outdo a crocodile, but maybe someone out there can do it!

Photoshop by AirlineReporter
Orig photos: Brenda’s Photos, Drewski2112

Frivolous Airline Lawsuits

David Parker Brown — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:31:58 +0000

Millions of people travel on airlines around the world. I figured there had to be some crazy lawsuits out there and sure enough! Here are some of my favorites:

* Student sues US Aiways for $1million for a lost xBox

* Woman sues American Airlines for $200,000.00 because her seatmate…well…he had too much personal time on the flight. Don’t get it? You can read the story.

* Lawyer sues Delta Air Lines $1 million for making him and his family miss his mother’s 80th birthday.

* Man sues JetBlue for $2 million for allegedly making him sit in the bathroom for part of the flight

* Woman won’t shut off phone, gets arrested, then sues Southwest Airlines for doing their job.

* A married couple sued United Airlines for serving too much wine to the husband, causing him to abuse his wife.

* Man wanted to use his Continental Airline miles on another airline and didn’t want to pay the “other airline fee.”

* Some passengers of Flight 1549 didn’t feel the $5000.00 (and a second chance at life) was enough from the historic landing and are suing for emotional damages.

* Passengers sued when Bonnie Tyler sang “Total Eclipse of the Heart” live on an Air France flight because it was getting too rowdy

* Man sues British Airways for kicking him off the plane for being too stinky.

* Mother sues a Swedish airline after her son’s hamsters got frozen in the airline cargo hold (they bought them a new puppy).

Think about all these crazy lawsuits when you aren’t happy with how much your next airline ticket costs!

Image: Clippergoodwill

Air New Zealand Likes to get Nude

David Parker Brown — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:17:54 +0000

A while back I showed how Air New Zealand has nothing to hide. I think they liked the free feeling of not wearing any clothes, so they are at it again. Now their air safety video has nothing to hide either. Instead of the dry talking about emergency exits and how to fasten your seat belt, they show you the “bare essentials” to your aircraft’s safety.

All the humor aside, I think these creative video safety messages are a good idea. Even for those who travel a lot, it gets your attention and makes you think about safety again.

Ok, bringing the humor back, also make sure you check out the bloopers reel!

More Crazy Than Ryanair Award: Standing Room Only

David Parker Brown — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:36:57 +0000

There is a lot of grumbling (and some good jokes out there) dealing with riding on a modern airliner is like being in a cattle car. Airlines are looking to cut costs and bring in profits at the expense of passenger comfort.

Ryanair normally steals the spot light for crazy ideas, but Spring Airlines takes the cake on this one. They are looking at cutting out seats and putting barstool type seats. It would allow for 40% more passengers and cut costs by 20%.

Spring Airlines gets the first ever MORE CRAZY THAN RYANAIR award for coming up with an idea even crazier than one from Ryanair.

Some Weekend Humor: 6 Worst Passengers

David Parker Brown — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:58:02 +0000

Rick Seaney, who is the CEO of FareCompare.com wrote up the six worst airplane passengers via ABCnews while back and I felt it was worth sharing. Here is a preview:

* “Liquid Soap Lady”: A woman on a United flight allegedly took pills and alcohol, then tried to bite a crew member’s leg.

* “I-Have-a-Bomb Guy”: A passenger on a Delta flight reportedly knocked a crew member to the floor as he attempted to open an exit door while yelling, “I have a bomb!”

* “Drinking Buddy”: According to reports, flight attendants on a small Comair jet cut off the booze to a hefty and clearly intoxicated passenger, so he started swinging.

Read more…

Found via Things with Wings

The Airline Blog's Video of the Day: Air New Zealand

David Parker Brown — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:05:39 +0000

I know this might be a bit old for some of you who have seen it on other sites, but maybe it has been long enough where you can once again enjoy it .

An ad for Air New Zealand showing they have nothing to hide, not even their bodies.

EasyJet: Why Not Get Married In-Flight?

David Parker Brown — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:36:22 +0000

EasyJet Airline, Airbus A319-111, landing at Edinburgh 21st April 2009

Believe it or not, British budget airline EasyJet has been asked on more than one occasion if they could marry people at 30,000 feet. They always had to say “no,” but they wanted to say “yes.” EasyJet wanted their pilots to be able to officiate weddings during flight. If sea captains can, why not pilots?

The Borough Council told EasyJet “no” but they would be happy to let people marry at the airport.

The idea sounds pretty cool, but I wonder how annoying it would be for frequent flyers who can no longer take naps because EasyJet keeps hosting weddings on their flights.

Source: Bedford Today Image: Gerry Hill

Bathroom Emergency Lands a Man in Jail

David Parker Brown — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:30:17 +0000

Dang, I wish all airline lavatories looked this good. This is on Emirates A380

A 43 year-old man had a bathroom emergency on a Delta Airlines flight on March 28th that landed him in jail. The passenger, Joao Correa, had a meal earlier that day that didn’t agree with him and by the time he was ready to take action, the food services cart was blocking his way to the back lavatory. He decided to try the facilities up front in Business Class when a flight attendant reminded him he had an economy ticket and needed to return to his seat. When he explained the situation, he was advised to wait a bit and the cart would be moved.

The cart wasn’t moved and Correa was in trouble, so he returned to the front of the plane to plead his case. Correa says he then grabbed the woman’s arm to stabilize himself, though she contends he was twisting her arm. Either way, the flight attendant told the pilot of the situation since Correa wouldn’t return to his seat, and the pilot allowed the troubled man to use the First Class restroom.

The incident landed Correa in jail for 2 days. He currently doesn’t face any charges, and admits he could have handled the situation a bit better.

I know the rules governing the airline class system are there for a reason, however I think in occasions like this, the rules can be twisted. I wonder how this scenario would play out in a one bathroom system that Ryanair is proposing?

Source: AJC Image: TelstarLogistics

Ryanair Confirms it Will Charge Passengers to Use the Bathroom

David Parker Brown — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:38:59 +0000

Ryanair Boeing 737-800 in March 2005 showing off the airline's first winglets

Normally one has to take whatever Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary says with a grain of salt. He says a lot of crazy things, most likely to get a few news stories written about him. When he first started talking about charging passengers to use the bathroom, I thought it was another crazy publicity stunt, but…

Ryanair plans to add credit card readers to the bathrooms in their Boeing 737-800 jets and even remove two of the three bathrooms to provide more seats. O’Leary is quoted as saying, “We are flying aircraft on an average flight time of one hour around Europe.” Is it crazy for this to start making a little sense to me now? I mean, some people ride buses and trains without bathrooms for longer than an hour on a daily basis.

The airline plans to charge about $1.50 for each bathroom usage and no word on emergency situations for people without credit cards. They plan to have the new system in place within 2 years.

Source: NYT Image: jordi757

Mark Malkoff Will Be On an AirTran Plane for 30-straight Days

David Parker Brown — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:37:03 +0000

Mark's Website

That’s right! 24/7, comedian Mark Malkoff will be hanging out on an AirTran plane, travelling to about 12 cities per day, sleeping, eating — even washing himself on an airliner for thirty straight days. The beauty? He has a fear of flying.

Not only does he want to conquer his fear of flying, but he is also trying to break the Guinness record for continuous flight. And since AirTran has WiFi, Mark is able to relate his journey through his website and on his Twitter account.

His great adventure started this Monday and will go to the end of the month. I wonder if he is able to earn frequent flier miles through Airtran — I will try and ask him — stay tuned.
Update: Mark’s response: “I hope so!”
Update2: He has earned so many miles he got a big Elite airmiles card.